If you have been following my blog, you know that I started a new job about a month ago. Back in the day, when I was either Super-woman or seriously jacked on caffeine, I was able to manage a family and a job easily. Or at least I thought it was easy. Now, however, it all seems very, very hard.
Last fall I also had the genius idea that the answer to our schooling issue this year was to keep our middle child home, where I would lovingly teach him myself. While this theory was very romantic, the reality of it was less so. It was tiring and often trying, when my normally agreeable child showed me that he was anything but.
I also started this blog, nearly 2 years ago. I spent a lot of time cooking, shopping for cooking and thinking and planning for cooking. Then there was the photography, editing and blog writing. Not to mention eating. It is no mystery why I have become a chunky monkey.
When these 3 aspects of my life came crashing together recently, I found myself in a tailspin. I literally am losing my hair. I am tired. I am back to craving caffeine like a fiend. I now honestly don’t have time to work out, whereas before it was just a lame excuse.
So when I got a copy of Miette’s cookbook from the library, I was so pleased. I haven’t really had time to experiment in the kitchen since my job started. I was also craving chocolate, which is the only thing besides Chinese food that I crave when I am in an emotional state. The cover cake had my name all over it. It is a dark, double chocolate cake with a pink raspberry buttercream. I was so very looking forward to this cake. Because I actually had time to cook, I was like a Tasmanian Devil in the kitchen. I had been prepping vinaigrettes, slow roasting ribs, marinating steaks, cleaning veggies, etc. It was a crazy mess, but I was so happy. I was going to eat a great meal and finish it all off with a piece of heaven. It was going to be a good day.
But as the day progressed, I was feeling worn out. A common feeling these days. But that was OK. I was in the homestretch. All the hard part was done. It was just time to eat and then put my cake together for dessert. Only… it didn’t go that way at all. After cooling the cakes, they wouldn’t come out of the pans. I had liberally buttered and sugared them. They should have come out. But they wouldn’t. And my buttercream was so pale that it barely looked pink at all. Maybe they used coloring for the photo shoot. It is so hard to tell these days. My husband is always saying to me, like I am the last one to get the joke, “It’s CGI.”
So after feeling really crappy about it for a moment, I decided “To hell with it! I am going to make this work and eat it and enjoy myself!” I put my anemic frosting on top of the cake. I scraped the bits out of the bottom of the pan and sprinkled them on top. I drizzled the remaining fruit syrup over the lot and ate it. And it was good.
And then I went to bed. I am a tired girl.