WHEN DID I GET SO NUTTY??

I suppose that is really a rhetorical question, but seriously, when did I get to be this nutty?? I had always thought of myself as pretty together. I don’t lose my keys. I can balance my checkbook. I make a mean piece of BBQ pork! But these past few weeks have me walking around in a haze. I am wildly distracted and can’t seem to get my shit together. Not only am I not blogging with any regularity like I usually do, I am not really cooking either. But like any good story, this one started a few weeks back…

After one very busy of running errands for 8 solid hours, I came home to find that our house had been burglarized. The place was trashed and they had taken anything of value – i.e. all the electronics, jewelry and a few tools. Once I was able to call 911, I then called my spouse, telling him they had “taken everything.” When he came home, he expected something more akin to the having had the Grinch clean out Cindy-Lou Who’s house. His exact words were “Dammit! They left that crappy couch!” Turns out they were more discerning than we gave them credit for.

Today we are working through getting a big ole dog and an alarm and anything else to prevent this from happening again. Until then, I am spending my days on edge. I am home alone most of the time, which didn’t used to be an issue. These days though, I jump every time the heater starts up or the drier makes a noise. I see squirrels out the window from the corner of my eye and my heart stops. I know that the paranoia will die down, but in the meantime, the edginess is getting to me. My husband says I should carry a bat with me around the house – he is so funny! Then there is the insurance company. I won’t even go into what a pain in the ass that is. SHEESH!

And to put the icing on the cake of my insanity, the laptop that I had miraculously saved by having it in the kitchen, full on crashed. This left me with a complete loss of data. The other laptop they took was my original and therefore always acted like a backup, even if somewhat dated. But they also took my external hard drive, my main data storage, which I hadn’t realized until this one crashed. Keep in mind that it has taken me a while to get everything cleaned up. The place was truly a mess. That was when I suddenly realized that I lost 12+ years of data, photos, personal and professional documents, meticulously built lists for everything from restaurants to library reading lists, and of course my favorites, which I also spent years building. If you haven’t noticed, I am a bit type-A. Anyway, I lost all of the food photos I had taken over the past couple weeks that were for this blog. All of it – GONE. I keep trying to tell myself that it is just stuff and that my life goes on, but I feel like I am grieving somewhat. This stuff was me, in many ways. Now it is gone.

So this funk is probably understandable. But typically I am the type that does better when I keep moving. I am best when busy. I just can’t understand why I can’t get my momentum back. Right now I am disorganized, prone to distraction, and keep missing appointments. This just isn’t like me. Let’s all hope it ends soon because I still have 3/5 of my garden to plant!

On a more positive note, I ordered nearly 10 pounds of pork belly to be picked up this Friday. I am going to make bacon. I promise to blog about it. I have to have something to tell you about!! Besides, bacon fixes everything 🙂

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